What's the funniest thing you seen on the job?

I know riding on trains for long periods of time can be dull and boring, but have you ever seen anything amusing and funny while on the job?

I have related such experiences before, but one memory involves riding the "Southern Crescent" on one of my deadheads. I was coming back from Greensboro, NC thru Charlotte. I would sometimes carry my hand held railroad radio with me, and I heard, saw the following exchange:

We stopped in Salisbury, the division point, and the conductor, Mr. Derr**** signed George, the engineer, ahead, "Awright, George, le's leave h'yar on this Southern #1, Over!" (now bear in mind, it is against FCC and railroad rules to "cuss" over the radio or use insulting or disparaging language, etc)

"WAIT A MINUTE, GEORGE" Mr. D suddenly cried, "I'VE GOT AN EASTERN DIVISION COOK THAT DIDN'T GET OFF THE TRAIN!!!!"

Calmly, George drawled, "Awrite, Mr D, we're stoppin', over." SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-T You could hear the brakes come down, the Crescent came to a stop a few feet south of the station. (Long Pause)

"OK, George, I think the cook is off--you kin go now, over"!

And we started again, headed towards Charlotte, when suddenly Mr. D screamed again, "WAIT, GEORGE, THAT SUMB*TCH AIN'T OFF YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That went all over the train, and the passengers, and yours truly, erupted in laughter, for my radio broadcast this unexpected outburst all over the train!

We stopped yet again and waited, farther south of the passenger station.

Finally, Mr. D said, "OK George, He's off fer sure now, and once again we pulled away from Salisbury. (long pause)

Then Mr D. says, out of the blue, "Next time that little **** does that, I'll take him to Greenville (SC and end of the Piedmont North End Division) with me!!!!!"

Dunno if the Trainmaster heard it or learned of the incident.


(Explanation of what happened. Cook was scheduled to drop off at Salisbury and catch the northbound back. He had a girlfriend-attendent who stayed on all the way to New Orleans. He had an affair going with this gal and just didn't want to get off yet he was so 'in love'! Ha!)


GF