How is it that before the AAR standardized the pin arrangements, each road had its own? Why wouldn't EMD or Alco wire it in a standard pattern from day 1?
My impression (from hazy memories of a long-ago article in "Trains") is that the manufacturers DID choose arrangements: different ones, of course, and not even constant across the models from a given manufacturer: Alco RS-1, for example, i.i.r.c. had an m.u. pin arrangement incompatible with that used on 244-engined Alcos, and early EMD cab units had a different arrangement from that used on later EMD units.
I think some railroads (U.P. may have been mentioned) tried to cope with this by equipping at least some of their first-generation diesels with more than one m.u. socket, allowing connection to a broader range of types than their manufacturer's standard set-up would have allowed. And I think it was possible for a railroad to special-order something other than the manufacturer's standard in order to (for example) allow m.u. operation with locomotives from another manufacturer already on the roster.
(On a tangent: when British Rail started serious dieselization in the late 1950s, they COULD have learned from American experience and insisted on compatible m.u. arrangements on all their locomotives... but instead they ordered locomotives with several different arrangements of m.u. gear: I think it was common to paint a symbol beside the m.u. socket to mark the type of m.u. possible.)