One of the funniest things I ever heard on the radio occurred one night when I was riding pass back from Washington, DC. The dining car crew was supposed to get off at Salisbury, NC. One of the cooks had a girlfriend on the train, and he was a bit slow getting off the Southern Crescent (Train #1). The radio conversation overheard on a trainman's radio went like this:
Old Conductor: "AWright, let's leave here, George, on this here #1, OH-VAAAAH!!!!"
George, the engineer, gets a high green and whistles off, easing away.
"WAIT A MINUTE, GEORGE, AH GOT A DINING CAR FELLA AIN'T OFF YIT!"
George, the engineer, calmly, 'OK, Mr Dearborn, we stoppin, over!" Ka-SHOOOOO, the air goes back down, and the Crescent eases to another stop.
Long pause as the E8's idle.
Conductor Dearborn: "Awright, George, I think....... I think he's on the ground now, le's leave heah, over!"
George:, "Ah gotcha, John, here we go South, OV-AAAAAAH!"
Just we started rolling again the radio comes to life again.
"WAIT A MINUTE, GEORGE", a frustrated voice comes back on (conductor), "THAT DAMN SUMB##CH AIN'T OFF YET!"
And once again, we lurch to a stop, as George obligingly brings the Crescent to another stop just south of the Salisbury station.
"AWRITE NOW, GEORGE, I KICKED HIS A## OFF THIS TRAIN FER SHO' THIS TIME!" This time, after this series of stops and starts, the Crescent accelerates rapidly amid the sounds of the distinctive Nathan 5 chime whistle.
As if we weren't already giggling histerically at the conductor's gaffe and illegal outburst (cussin' on the radio), Dearborn transmits to no one in particular, still obviously angry at this delay,
'NEXT TIME THAT B#####D DOES THAT, I'M GONNA TAKE HIM TO GREENVILLE AND TEACH HIM A LESSON, OV-AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
He was on his handy talkie so I doubt the dispatcher heard it.