To get "realistic", as you put it, if you really want to be a railroader, and it's been on your mind, and in your blood, how will deleting this account, make you forget? You didn't make it yet? Sounds like you need to try harder, and keep on trying. Change your goals, on railroad, location or position applied for. You have to be able to adapt, and persevere, to make it on the road. Didn't get hired yet? You didn't try hard enough. I've listed jobs in the employment section, where the only pre-requisite to being hired, is to have a pulse. Might not be "the big time", but a foot in the door, and ANY experience gained from a job, can only help you, when you go for the second job. How deleting something from a computer, will make you forget it, is beyond me.............