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  • Locomotive Inspection for Switchmen (Joke)

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General discussion about railroad operations, related facilities, maps, and other resources.

Moderator: Robert Paniagua

 #147655  by Silverliner II
 
Locomotive Inspection for Switchmen

Since Remote control has become a sad fact of life, switchmen have been forced to figure out how to report locomotive defects. This has led to some of the following exchanges between mechanical department folks and switchmen.

Here are some locomotive defect reports logged into the computer (marked with a D) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by locomotive servicing employees.

D: Front air hose almost needs replacement
S: Front air hose almost replaced

D: Something loose in cab
S: Something tightened in cab

D: Evidence of oil leak
S: Evidence removed

D: Alerter volume unbelievably loud
S: Alerter volume set to more believable level

D: Suspected crack in #1 axle R-side brake shoe
S: Suspect you're right

D: Engine missing
S: Engine found after brief search in engine compartment

D: Radio constantly hums
S: Changed radio to channel with lyrics

D: Sanders won't turn off
S: Charged sanders with Level-5 insubordination

D: Hint of flat spots #3 axle
S: Hint of repair #3 axle

D: Bell only works occasionally
S: Bell only repaired occasionally

D: Horn is really loud
S: Closed all windows

D: Cannot depress independent brake valve
S: Replaced cheerful brake valve with depressed brake valve

D: Gauge light burned out
S: Gauge light marked off on vacation

D: Windshield wipers won't work
S: Windshield wipers given stern warning

D: Lots of smoke coming out the stack
S: That is where it is supposed to come out

D: Think the amp gauge is off
S: Think it's on

D: Wheel slip light keeps coming on
S: Replaced wheel slip light

D: Horrible smell coming from toilet
S: Flushed toilet
 #170623  by Komachi
 
SilverlinerII,

Thanks for posting this. Been in a "funk" for a while, read this for the first time last night and almost fell out of my chair I was laughing so much. I haven't had a good laugh in a long while. Much appreciated.

 #170654  by GN 599
 
LOL
Last edited by GN 599 on Tue Sep 27, 2005 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

 #170655  by GN 599
 
That is pretty funny. Actually where I work we try to find as many defects as possible in hopes of getting a conventional engine with an engineer. Works sometimes but usually the hostlers can fix em. Except the time they sent the 2727 to Seattle because it "just wouldnt run''. Turns out someone pushed the emergency stop button on the side and nobody coultd figure it out. We had engineers in the yard for a month that time! :-D One other job they tried to remote where I work didn't work out so well. Turns out all of the powerlines and stuff from the co-gen power plant scrambled the waves between the equipment, what a shame. Most guys are actually kind of hard on the equipment in hopes of breaking it.

 #170748  by Silverliner II
 
The sheer irony is that in my terminal on CSX, we have two remote jobs, one working daylight, the other works last trick with the same equipment. When it works. They usually end up operating conventionally with an engineer called off the extraboard at least 3 times a week.

And then, because the remote foreman and switchman still work the ground with the engineer, the job seems to get more switching done on those days....
 #170749  by Silverliner II
 
Komachi wrote:SilverlinerII,

Thanks for posting this. Been in a "funk" for a while, read this for the first time last night and almost fell out of my chair I was laughing so much. I haven't had a good laugh in a long while. Much appreciated.
LOL, always glad to spread the laughs!

 #181088  by Engineer Spike
 
Contact the BLET. There is a book out listing all the requirements for the daily inspection. This is also available if you look it up. These are federal requirements.
If you really want to help out the engineers go for the things nobody looks for. Look at the headend box for the marker. It needs to be inspected within a year. Look for the handbrake inspection sticker, fire extinguisther. Any oil in the sump is fair game. The allerter must cause a penalty application. Toilet cleanliness is a requirement.
Best yet, if in doubt, drop a dime on the FRA mechanical inspector! They can always find a way to cripple a unit!

 #188543  by Engineer James
 
LOL Funnier than all get out! Good job, Post more!!!! :P

 #208258  by route_rock
 
Ever since I started working the pit I have just loved the response a machinist or electrician will give. Last night had a loco whos "air horn wont work tried everything". machinist went down and noticed the switch for the horn cut out was switched to cut out. Got on the radio " Service track foreman I found your problem the switch is in the off position send me an electrician cause its his job to deal with electrics" Needless to say we laughed pretty hard cause the crew was still in the yard and on the yard channel.
I got a crew also last night. "Service track our motor has alarm bells ringing and the wheel slip light comes on when we move the reverser" "take off the handbrake" " we did you dont know what your talking about" " trust me go back and turn it to the stop and dont let it rebound" " Ummm it worked" :-D Oh ye of little faith!Didnt have the heart to tell them to turn to the back wall and look at that bright red light next to the auto stop override that says handbrake not fully released when lit.
BTW spike whenever I get to hostel a RCO I will do that .

 #208399  by Silverliner II
 
route_rock wrote:I got a crew also last night. "Service track our motor has alarm bells ringing and the wheel slip light comes on when we move the reverser" "take off the handbrake" " we did you dont know what your talking about" " trust me go back and turn it to the stop and dont let it rebound" " Ummm it worked" :-D Oh ye of little faith!Didnt have the heart to tell them to turn to the back wall and look at that bright red light next to the auto stop override that says handbrake not fully released when lit.
LOL, gotta love that on the GEVO series units....not to mention a few non-CSX late-year CW44AC's I've run in recent weeks.