Locomotive Inspection for Switchmen
Since Remote control has become a sad fact of life, switchmen have been forced to figure out how to report locomotive defects. This has led to some of the following exchanges between mechanical department folks and switchmen.
Here are some locomotive defect reports logged into the computer (marked with a D) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by locomotive servicing employees.
D: Front air hose almost needs replacement
S: Front air hose almost replaced
D: Something loose in cab
S: Something tightened in cab
D: Evidence of oil leak
S: Evidence removed
D: Alerter volume unbelievably loud
S: Alerter volume set to more believable level
D: Suspected crack in #1 axle R-side brake shoe
S: Suspect you're right
D: Engine missing
S: Engine found after brief search in engine compartment
D: Radio constantly hums
S: Changed radio to channel with lyrics
D: Sanders won't turn off
S: Charged sanders with Level-5 insubordination
D: Hint of flat spots #3 axle
S: Hint of repair #3 axle
D: Bell only works occasionally
S: Bell only repaired occasionally
D: Horn is really loud
S: Closed all windows
D: Cannot depress independent brake valve
S: Replaced cheerful brake valve with depressed brake valve
D: Gauge light burned out
S: Gauge light marked off on vacation
D: Windshield wipers won't work
S: Windshield wipers given stern warning
D: Lots of smoke coming out the stack
S: That is where it is supposed to come out
D: Think the amp gauge is off
S: Think it's on
D: Wheel slip light keeps coming on
S: Replaced wheel slip light
D: Horrible smell coming from toilet
S: Flushed toilet
Since Remote control has become a sad fact of life, switchmen have been forced to figure out how to report locomotive defects. This has led to some of the following exchanges between mechanical department folks and switchmen.
Here are some locomotive defect reports logged into the computer (marked with a D) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by locomotive servicing employees.
D: Front air hose almost needs replacement
S: Front air hose almost replaced
D: Something loose in cab
S: Something tightened in cab
D: Evidence of oil leak
S: Evidence removed
D: Alerter volume unbelievably loud
S: Alerter volume set to more believable level
D: Suspected crack in #1 axle R-side brake shoe
S: Suspect you're right
D: Engine missing
S: Engine found after brief search in engine compartment
D: Radio constantly hums
S: Changed radio to channel with lyrics
D: Sanders won't turn off
S: Charged sanders with Level-5 insubordination
D: Hint of flat spots #3 axle
S: Hint of repair #3 axle
D: Bell only works occasionally
S: Bell only repaired occasionally
D: Horn is really loud
S: Closed all windows
D: Cannot depress independent brake valve
S: Replaced cheerful brake valve with depressed brake valve
D: Gauge light burned out
S: Gauge light marked off on vacation
D: Windshield wipers won't work
S: Windshield wipers given stern warning
D: Lots of smoke coming out the stack
S: That is where it is supposed to come out
D: Think the amp gauge is off
S: Think it's on
D: Wheel slip light keeps coming on
S: Replaced wheel slip light
D: Horrible smell coming from toilet
S: Flushed toilet
"CSX Detector. Milepost Six Point Four. No Defects. Repeat: No Defects. Total Axles Seven Four Seven. Detector Out"