Funny Railroad Stories- By railroaders

Thats just too funny Gadly. You seem to have a bunch of funny ones.

beanbag wrote:Thats just too funny Gadly. You seem to have a bunch of funny ones.

Well................if you spend your life on the railroad, there's bound to be "funnies" along with the bad. One day, I'll tell you about the purse snatcher that ambled into the office and was chased by the Crew truck driver down N. Tryon Street!!!! (Charlotte, NC)

GF

Oh the suspense... lol whnevee youre ready Gadfly.

Three things that I heard for the very first time on the railroad.
2 things that a railroad man has?
A good watch and a bad back.

2 cheapest things on the railroad?
Diesel fuel and sweat.

There's only 2 kinds of liars in the world.
The man that said he don't and the man that said he quit.
I leave the rest to the imagination.

Was working on a tie gang, south of Savannah, back in the 80s. Went in a convenience store with another foreman. Gal behind the counter said "Ya'll workin hard?"
Foreman said "Lady I'm workin because of a h**d".
Turned and walked out.
True story.

Freddy.. Those were both classic. Bahahaha.

Freddy wrote:Was working on a tie gang, south of Savannah, back in the 80s. Went in a convenience store with another foreman. Gal behind the counter said "Ya'll workin hard?"
Foreman said "Lady I'm workin because of a h**d".
Turned and walked out.
True story.

Is this one of those "you had to be there" jokes? Or one of those snide sex puns like you'd hear on FX's "Archer" animated spy spoof series?
Not sure I get it, and the double asterisks aren't helping with the funny...

Sir Ray wrote:

Freddy wrote:Was working on a tie gang, south of Savannah, back in the 80s. Went in a convenience store with another foreman. Gal behind the counter said "Ya'll workin hard?"
Foreman said "Lady I'm workin because of a h**d".
Turned and walked out.
True story.

Is this one of those "you had to be there" jokes? Or one of those snide sex puns like you'd hear on FX's "Archer" animated spy spoof series?
Not sure I get it, and the double asterisks aren't helping with the funny...

Substitute the double asterisks with the letters a and r, in that order.
Get it now?
I substituted the asterisks, so as not to offend anyone.
Let me explain it even further, he was telling the lady he was working, cause he had kids to provide for.

Freddy wrote:

Sir Ray wrote:

Freddy wrote:Was working on a tie gang, south of Savannah, back in the 80s. Went in a convenience store with another foreman. Gal behind the counter said "Ya'll workin hard?"
Foreman said "Lady I'm workin because of a h**d".
Turned and walked out.
True story.

Is this one of those "you had to be there" jokes? Or one of those snide sex puns like you'd hear on FX's "Archer" animated spy spoof series?
Not sure I get it, and the double asterisks aren't helping with the funny...

Substitute the double asterisks with the letters a and r, in that order.
Get it now?

Yeah I get it, but that phrasing sounds rather odd on the Foreman's part - like he left off the "on" part, so the phrasing just sounds wrong.
So... it was indeed similar to the Archer cartoon series pun I alluded to before:
Crazy Spy Agency Doctor Krieger getting way into his task of disposing of a corpse shot by the agency head Mallory
Mallory: "Is Krieger hard at work?"
Archer: "He literally might be, yes"

OK, better return this thread to it's G rating now...

Sir Ray wrote:

Freddy wrote:

Sir Ray wrote:

Freddy wrote:Was working on a tie gang, south of Savannah, back in the 80s. Went in a convenience store with another foreman. Gal behind the counter said "Ya'll workin hard?"
Foreman said "Lady I'm workin because of a h**d".
Turned and walked out.
True story.

Is this one of those "you had to be there" jokes? Or one of those snide sex puns like you'd hear on FX's "Archer" animated spy spoof series?
Not sure I get it, and the double asterisks aren't helping with the funny...

Substitute the double asterisks with the letters a and r, in that order.
Get it now?

Yeah I get it, but that phrasing rather odd on the Foreman's part - like he left off the "on" part, which phrasing just sounds wrong.
So... it was indeed similar to the Archer cartoon series pun I alluded to before:
Crazy Spy Agency Doctor Krieger getting way into his task of disposing of a corpse shot by the agency head Mallory
Mallory: "Is Krieger hard at work?"
Archer: "He literally might be, yes"

OK, better return this thread to it's G rating now...

This thread kind of lost its G-rating with the guy in the caboose a page or so back. Poor soul.

beanbag wrote:

Sir Ray wrote:OK, better return this thread to it's G rating now...

This thread kind of lost its G-rating with the guy in the caboose a page or so back. Poor soul.

You're right, I forgot all about that post.
All right, better put a PG-13 rating in the thread title now...

Essential Tools of Railroading:

If it moves and it shouldn't - Duct Tape
If it doesn't move and it should - WD40

Gadfly wrote:

beanbag wrote:Thats just too funny Gadly. You seem to have a bunch of funny ones.

Well................if you spend your life on the railroad, there's bound to be "funnies" along with the bad. One day, I'll tell you about the purse snatcher that ambled into the office and was chased by the Crew truck driver down N. Tryon Street!!!! (Charlotte, NC)

GF

Perusing this old thread.. You never told about the purse snatcher! Haha

I forgot about that one.
Well....anyway, One afternoon, at the Roadway Shops, (before they were remodeled and closed in with a gate/fence), a ragged old red car came up the drive to the Storehouse. A disheveled young man got out, came in, and proceeded to ask directions to a location in town. The office clerk, a nice lady who eventually became my straw boss began telling him how to get to this place downtown. Her purse was on her desk nearby. Suddenly, this guy grabbed her pocketbook and flew out the door with "Becky" in hot pursuit.

"STOP, THIEF", she cried.

The crew truck driver was right outside as the old red car cranked up and backed rapidly down the drive towards Liddell St. Tony sprinted for the crew pick up and cranked up as well. This crew truck/utility pickup was a new (at the time) 1987 C20 Chevrolet with a 350 V8 with fuel injection and was NO slouch.

"EEEE-RRK", Tony screeched down the driveway, turning onto N. Graham St in hot pursuit of the sputtering old car. Becky got busy calling the local police AND the RR detectives.

"EEEEEE-RRRRRRRRRK----WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", we could hear that Chevy screeching tires and the engine moaning as Tony faded into the distance after the thief.

Then Charlotte, NC PD sirens began to wail and a NS police SUV swooped past with blue light flashing. We were outside awaiting the outcome, and pretty soon Tony came easing back into the yard.

"
'That sumbitch got away at a light, and I lost him in traffic,! said Tony, "Maybe the cops'll find 'im."

Then the RR cop came back with the news that they couldn't find the car, and lectured Tony about chasing "felons"! But then he thanked him for trying!" Unofficially, of course!

For a time, our Truck Driver had the nickname, "Hotfoot"!

GF

Gadfly wrote:I forgot about that one.
Well....anyway, One afternoon, at the Roadway Shops, (before they were remodeled and closed in with a gate/fence), a ragged old red car came up the drive to the Storehouse. A disheveled young man got out, came in, and proceeded to ask directions to a location in town. The office clerk, a nice lady who eventually became my straw boss began telling him how to get to this place downtown. Her purse was on her desk nearby. Suddenly, this guy grabbed her pocketbook and flew out the door with "Becky" in hot pursuit.

"STOP, THIEF", she cried.

The crew truck driver was right outside as the old red car cranked up and backed rapidly down the drive towards Liddell St. Tony sprinted for the crew pick up and cranked up as well. This crew truck/utility pickup was a new (at the time) 1987 C20 Chevrolet with a 350 V8 with fuel injection and was NO slouch.

"EEEE-RRK", Tony screeched down the driveway, turning onto N. Graham St in hot pursuit of the sputtering old car. Becky got busy calling the local police AND the RR detectives.

"EEEEEE-RRRRRRRRRK----WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", we could hear that Chevy screeching tires and the engine moaning as Tony faded into the distance after the thief.

Then Charlotte, NC PD sirens began to wail and a NS police SUV swooped past with blue light flashing. We were outside awaiting the outcome, and pretty soon Tony came easing back into the yard.

"
'That sumbitch got away at a light, and I lost him in traffic,! said Tony, "Maybe the cops'll find 'im."

Then the RR cop came back with the news that they couldn't find the car, and lectured Tony about chasing "felons"! But then he thanked him for trying!" Unofficially, of course!

For a time, our Truck Driver had the nickname, "Hotfoot"!

GF

Thats funnny!! Hahaha