I work as a freight train conductor. There is nothing we can do in that locomotive cab to avoid a collision with a person or vehicle. You would not believe how many times during a tour of duty my train comes close to ending a person life. After 13 years of being a railroader i have had hundreds of close calls, but luckily i have not been involved in a fatality. From a train crew stand point, every time we come near any pedestrian it goes through your head; our they paying attention, due they know there to close to the tracks, due they realize we are moving at authorized track speed and appear further away and slower then we are really traveling. Due the understand it takes me a mile to stop. I have had nightmares about tragic situations because we are so helpless in that cab to avoid tragedy, and i only have had close calls. IMAGINE the nightmares i am going to have when i am actually involved in a fatality. The only thing we can do as a train crew is apply the emergency brake and hope for the best. It is a horrible experience to have no control of your destiny, but that is exactly what happens. We cant steer around a person, we cant stop on a dime. We just slam on the brakes and slide for a good mile.
And as a Freight train conductor we have it the worst. We don't ride in passenger cars taking tickets, we don't sit in cabooses anymore. We ride up front in the locomotive cab with the engineer. The freight train conductor not only happens to watch this unfold before their eyes, we also have to walk back and take care of the aftermath after the collisions happens. My engineer stays with the train inside the locomotive cab, when i have to walk back and try to help this person, if their still alive, who i just saw 10 seconds ago alive and breathing. I have to go back and find out who they are, where they are , can i help, can i drag them out of the wreckage. I am the last person they are going to see alive if their still breathing, their going to die in my arms, a person they don't even know. As a freight train conductor i get to see the before, middle, and aftermath of a tragic situation. I am the one that has to walk my train looking for body parts, so i can direct the first responders on the scene.
This is why we have nightmares as train crews, this is why every time we come to a crossing a thousand things run through our heads. We are helpless.
Just last week, my train came up to a crossing, and their is a pretty young girl with a friend of hers. We where only doing 10 miles per hour, and we go through the crossing just fine, and then i hear the screaming!!! Its her friend screaming at her to get of the train!!! She is trying to board the steps of our 2nd locomotive between the locomotive and the first rail car. And I turned back to my engineer because she was on my side of the train, told him to put the train into emergency, i look back and she is gone. Now i have to walk back and find out if she went under my train. Do you know how HORRABLE that feeling is walking back and looking under your train for body parts, or do see if that person is still alive. Nobody thinks of my feelings in this tragedy. Nobody realizes what i have to go through because i just saw this girl alive a min. ago and now i am searching for her body. Luckily i found nothing, she most likely fell off hit the ground and took off running. But you can imagine the pain in my heart walking this train realizing this is someones daughter, sister, best friend, girlfriend etc. And now i have to find her and pray she is still alive. It sucks..............
And Jeff Smith, we are not insensitive. We are angry. We are agree people don't realize we suffer, people don't realize what we have to live with the rest of our lives. We are victims too. I had one conductor friend off mine who had to carry an arm back to the engine to put it in the refrigerator because that was the only thing that was cold enough to keep it fresh until first responders arrived. He lives with that image of that person in his head everyday struggling on the ground being him to save his life. I had another engineer tell me when she was working as a conductor, she walked back after a pedestrian was hit by her train to find the gentleman severed in half still breathing begging her to save his life. She told me she can never get that image out of her head, that she saw this person walking and smiling, not paying attention however, just a second ago, and now there begging for there life. We are victims too, please remember this people......
Conductors are in Charge! Thats why we got the "belt pack" and the engineers got the street!!!